Thursday, 24 October 2013

Me as you

Probably you are suffering in this moment: probably you lost someone in your family, you have cancer, you are suffering from anger, you are feeling the lack of love, or you are depressed, you had an abortion, you were abused when you were young, your relationship with your partner or your best friend has ended…or maybe you just hate your job, you miss home, your mind is always in the mode of “being sad”. Maybe some feelings are worse than others; maybe you hate the world and yourself, God and all the life around you. What does it matter? Suffering is suffering.  And you suffer, as I do. Probably you suffer more than me and there are other people who suffer more than you and others more and more… It doesn’t matter how and for what you are suffering. Just assume that suffering is part of life. As a human being I’m often unhappy, sad and scared. I judge and I feel judged, I cause pain in other people and I receive the same. I could beat my head against the wall time and time again until I finally realize that some things have to go in a direction and I can’t do anything to change them. With all my effort I will fail. And I will suffer.  Simply because I’m under this sky and I’m not perfect at all. Me as you.

So what I (you) can only do is taking one step at a time, looking around me (you) and start to appreciate again the nice things I (you) can enjoy.  Things like the sun that rises up in the sky, the smile of an innocent child, a hug received from a stranger, the beauty of a landscape, the music offered by a musician in the street, the hot coffee in the cold days, the shining warm sand under my (your) feet, an interesting book, a piece of bread, the sound of the rain.

You (I) can’t ignore what hurts you (me) but you (I) can also choose to focus your (my) attention on things that make your (my) path sweeter and nicer. And you (I) can walk slowly. Until you (I) will realize that you are (I am) smiling again and you are (I am) strong enough to feel your (my) pain and not be stuck in it.

We can reach our dreams, but only when we start focusing our attention on things we really love, more than on our pain, when we will understand that we can realize something really big with small steps.  No one really knows which one is the right path; it is all about failures and following attempts, all about going and believing we can do what we really love.

Let’s get off the ground, then. Let’s walk together. I am your reflex, you are my reflex. We are all one.

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

The way to my dream

I walked a long way to find my dream.

When I was a little girl, I always felt lonely. Rather than playing with others, I liked walking to an unknown destination alone to discover something different. At that time, I didn't have my own dream and no direction at all. But I still believed that there must be something waiting for me in the future. So, although sometimes I was so depressed and even attempted to suicide, this belief gave me courage to go on.

In my whole teenagers and earlier twenties, I was still groping in the dark and didn't know who I was and what I wanted to be. I knew nothing about my major before I went to college, knew nothing about my first job until I were there. All things had just happened and seemed wrong to me. I was distressed and complained all day.

The situation changed when I met the spiritual part of my life. One of my best friends coached me to "balance cycles" and the whole life spread out slowly like a scroll painting in front of me at the first time. Since that great moment, my journal to find myself began. I attended some courses and workshops in the psychology field and finally got to know that all the difficult moments are present from the destiny to teach me. Nothing can help you except yourself. Happiness is a state of mind and it's not something you can find outside but inside yourself. The power to change is in your own hand and everyone has enough capabilities to take charge of one's own life.

I finally encountered my dream in a workshop. When I was required to imagine what I will be doing after 10 years, the imagine that I was working and helping others in my own office came to mind suddenly. And my values also settled as Love, Joy and Inner Peace. After that workshop, I kept this dream in mind. The feeling that I had a dream comforted me when I met problems, but the dream was just a dream and looked still far away from my daily life. I thought about it less then 3 times in more than 3 years and didn't know when, where, how, who to achieve my dream with.

I must show my great gratitude to Coursera's CIC course. I'm attending it because I have interest in creativity, but the course has changed my mind in a deep way. The "Life Ring" exercise recalled the memory of my dream, the "Ventures" exercise let me being committed to my dream. On the12th of Sep, a day to remember, I finally decided to start my project : Focus on your dream 10 minutes per day, and I posted it in the course's forum. I had never imagined that this project could  help to focus on my dream not only myself but also other people.

Here, I got a lot of amazing ideas. With Dawn Lagunas's suggestion, I reviewed my values and turned them into Love, Being Positive, Active, Supporting others and Inner Peace. With Alessandra Lacaita and Arnoldo Del Toro's great help, we even made a blog for dreamers to tell their stories. The great stories of Emili Bermudez, Francois Brillon and Freen also inspired me and enhanced my confidence. I took so many actions in only 21 days and realized how powerful the actions are. I never felt as energized, confident and enthusiastic as these days in my whole life.

I am still on the way to accomplish my dream and I would like to call myself a WALKER of life. Of course I want to achieve success in one day, but the way itself is beautiful enough to learn, share, enjoy and to deeply communicate with myself.

Let's keep going on to dreams together! Thanks you all!

Lucy Cao

Thursday, 3 October 2013

"Freen" and her dream of peace

Just a short time ago, I couldn't answer the question, "what's your dream about?" Not even to myself.
Actually, I never had a real dream, something to canalise into study, work, and career. My dreams were more like vague fantasies of romance or rebellion, often unachievable.
The only answer I could think was "I just want to get away from here".
I didn't know where, when, how. Just, away. Freedom, that was my dream, I thought.
Freedom from my family, from the small village I was forced to live in, from all those infertile friendships, from all my sick relationships, from school, jobs and every annoying situation I was living.
I often wondered why I had this overwhelming need to escape, why couldn't I just be quiet and enjoy what I did have instead of craving what I did not. I tried to; sometimes it almost worked, until all I was trying to repress would explode so badly that it scared me. I was tired and desperate because I knew how positive I could be, but I couldn't see how. It was crazy, but I didn't give up and eventually I left.
Once I was finally far from my parent's house and that Godforsaken village, I always felt less the pressure of judgements, apathy, narrow-mindedness, flaunted ignorance, labels and people you would never have to deal with, if you only had the chance.
I was feeling better, more comfortable with myself and, as I grew up, I realised that my dream was not to escape, but rather to feel at home. My peace would be my real freedom: finding somewhere I belonged to.
Now that I knew what my goal was, I started focusing on my life and on what I could do to reach it.
One of the most difficult things I had to learn was to stop thinking I was worthless and did not deserve anything. Then, I began to say goodbye to people who didn't allow me to be happy, one by one.
I was almost reborn. A new blossom of me who really loved itself, for the first time.
There was only one big issue left, the most difficult and hurtful. A man, from whom I just couldn't get away from after all. I used to come back to him every time, willing to forgive him and forget all the pain he gave me, all the times he wasn't there for me, to start over again with all the love I could.
But this man was not my friend, nor boyfriend. He was my dad. The first man in my life, the first one who was supposed to love and protect me and make me feel important, which he never did. How could I love myself, if even my dad never did?
Clearly, the wall between me and my peace was my relationship with my own father.
Luckily, I was trying to rebuild my life, when, one day, I met the man who made it complete, for real.
We found each other and loved each other from the very start, with a new kind of love, so different from the ones I had known so far: it was healthy, fun but peaceful. Without violence, jealousy, tears, madness.
The path I chose for me had brought me straight into my dream's arms!
Patiently and kindly, he taught me how to face my deepest issues, one by one, rationally, together. He taught me how to trust him and let him love me. Maybe he learned something from me too, but actually he did so much for me I can't really tell what I've done for him.
We got married very soon, so strange for someone like me, always wanting to run away, yet I never had a doubt.
Here it was my peace, everything I wanted.
I feel free now, because I'm happy to be here, I don't want to be anywhere else.
My husband gave me more and more strength and the awareness of what I really deserve. Every time I suffered I felt less involved and closer to freedom. And then, suddenly, the final push: a little boy, not yet even born and yet so important. He is my dream that comes true.
Now everything changes, now I feel the strength I always needed, the strength to say goodbye to the past. The same strength you feel when breaking up with somebody that makes you insensitive to tears, promises, and memories and forces you to look further! Like a friend.
Well I've found that strength, it's right here inside me now.
It's my son's voice telling me: "Mom, I never saw you like this".
If one day my son will tell me these words, I will not be afraid of his answer when I will ask him: "Like what?"
He will simply answer: "So beautiful".

By Freen.
Freen's blog